I’ve talked about this idea before, this incongruity, with what exists in the pages of The Road to Hell and the stuff I post here. Then I had a couple readers tell me the EXACT SAME THING! Dammit. I had a really good conversation with a marketing consultant this week-she looked at my blog, my Twitter account, my Facebook fanpage, my Google+, my blood count, a urine sample, and my Amazon author page and concluded, correctly, I was a doing a fantastic job marketing to all the wrong people. The Wife and kids cried for her, Rocky keeps looking for her, I can’t bring myself to get rid of her toys. She hadn’t been with us long, maybe a month or so, but she left an indelible imprint on all of us and will be sorely missed.
She pawed at the sky, let out a howl and was gone. I have to bid farewell to the newest member of our pack-Laylah Redd, Rocky’s colorful sidekick, passed away yesterday. It’s been an interesting week, folks: my dog died, I’m working on postings for two blog tours, a marketing consultant I’d started working with told me I was speaking to the wrong people, and readers of my novel let me know my blog-this blog-wasn’t exactly what they expected when trying to connect with me.įirst things first: my heart is heavy and I am sad. joe, lady jaye, roadblock, saturday morning cartoons, scarlett | Leave a comment Where the Hell Have I Been? Posted in Festival of Fiendishness | Tagged cobra, duke, g.i. Next up, the original psycho himself, Norman Bates! Cobra Commander was about business.Īnd finally, the man could rock that hood or his shiny helmet and still make you pause. Planes would explode, tanks would burst into flames, lives would be ended. He doesn’t stop, even when overthrown (he eventually got his spot back), but the stakes of his endeavors are a little more pertinent than anything we’ve seen in Saturday morning cartoon-land. And he’s slightly more successful than Pinky and the Brain. He’s not after a fast-ass bird he’s trying to the take over the world. But what he can do is build an organization powerful enough that our Special Forces need a Special Force just to contain his actions. He has tremendous resources, charisma, a great tactical mind and a good eye for talent. So why would a guy who was so ineffective when in power that his followers deposed him make it into the pantheon of fantastic villains? Cobra Commander is the Wile E Coyote of terrorist organization leaders.
How could anything that well-prepared be so poor at actually achieving their goals? I mean these guys even managed to get a man whose face was entirely composed of metal on their team AND clone the supreme military commander using DNA from people like Hannibal and Napoleon.
Truth is, Cobra Commander ran the most high-tech, best-armed, well-trained, ineffective global terrorist organization ever. I even remember one episode where they were, literally, curling (like the Winter Olympic event) to capture a piece of critical technology. And every morning I’d watch Cobra get thwarted by a crew-cut dude and chick in a Daisy Duke belly shirt. And then, cutting through the madness, would be the battle cry: Coooooo-BRRAAAAAA!!!Įvery morning, before school, I’d hear that cat scream what set he was from and light it up across the battlefield, invading a base, snatching technology, whatever. You remember how it went, don’t you? The jets would come screaming down, launching a blizzard of missiles and lasers cool ass tanks would rumble across the landscape masked soldiers march with ominous footsteps, wielding high-tech rifles. But give these guys an objective…failure was imminent. And next to Cheetara from the Thundercats, the Baronness was the hottest female in cartoons with her dark glasses and bad girl persona (hey, Roger Rabbit wasn’t out yet and Lara Croft didn’t exist-don’t judge me). Nice suits, beautiful weapons, underground lairs, sexy planes. Joe.īut Cobra, man, these cats were cold. I only liked Snake Eyes-who doesn’t like a ninja, right? Aside from “…and knowing is half the battle,” there’s not a whole lot I recall from G.I. Now I’m no Joe fan, kung fu grip notwithstanding-maybe it’s because I’ve never been a fan of heroes, maybe it’s because when you turn a wrestler and William “The Refrigerator” Perry into a wartime action hero, you kinda hamper my respect. And today’s mighty malfeasant is Cobra Commander, the Nazi-helmeted, nondescript steel faced leader of Cobra, and perpetual enemy of G.I. If you keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times, we’ll be on our way. Welcome back to the Festival, sorry for the delay.
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